I just finished working with a client. We met at 5:45am. Working with others at this hour of the morning is not completely easy for me- and so I make a concerted effort be in a certain state of mind. To be up and awake, alert and completely ready before coming into contact with another human being at a time during the day when most humans are fast asleep with an hour or two left on the alarm clock. I like to think that I usually succeed.
Last week we scheduled a training session at 6am- same place as usual- 200m from my front door just south of the Santa Monica Pier. I had a workout planned and printed out; my watch, equipment, towel, clothes and shoes set out on the floor to avoid any last minute, early morning rushing around. A good thing.
When my eyes peeled open that morning it still felt early- a medium blue just barely breaking through gray haze. I could feel the early morning ocean air . I laid there quietly in bed for about 30 seconds before picking up my phone to turn off the alarm that was expected it to ring at 5:30am. But it was already 6:01.
"F()*^&)(*&)(*&)(*+&k!"
That was the first word out of my mouth. The only word I bothered to pronounce as I instantaneously and very dramatically began bouncing around the room getting ready to meet my client. Obviously skipping my normal deliberate and calm morning routine- I was out the door in just under 4 minutes, arrived at the meeting spot still chewing on toothpaste, tell-tale sheet creases on my face, and slightly out of (bad) breath. The only reason my eyes weren't filled with crust is because I decided to take a few extra seconds to wash my face and put on my contacts. My client wasn't there... but at 6:08am he jogged up and reported that he went for a short warm up jog and figured I would arrive soon.
I sent him out for another 400m, making a decision to compose myself. I swallowed the toothpaste, took some deep breaths, looked over the workout plan I had written, and was now ready to work.
A panic-filled start gave way to a good morning session. I am definitely glad to have taken the few extra minutes to put myself together and get into a mental space required to relate one-on-one with another person that early in the morning. This isn't something I do automatically. My immediate reaction to most things is to jump right in without thinking, rather than responding calmly to what comes up.
Reacting vs. Responding.
"F)(*+&#%k!" as the first word in my day... reaction.
"Send him on a quick 400m jog." as a way to create some space... response.
Like I said earlier, reacting is what comes naturally for me. Well, for everyone really- if we want to go scientific, it is part of fight or flight. Punch it before it attacks you, take off running before it eats you. But what I have been practicing recently is creating some awareness around these instantaneous reactions... being in that space for a second- not even a second, but an instant- and making a decision to respond to the stimulus rather than continuing to run in panic mode.
Yes, I think it is actually a decision. The awareness that can be created immediately following a built-in, hard wired, knee jerk reaction can be used to determine what happens next.
"F)*&^(*&^!" was followed by about 4 minutes of panic- with a little presence of mind to wash face, put on contacts, ingest some toothpaste, and sprint to predetermined location. Yet, I hesitate to take any credit for these actions- I chalk them up to modern day fight-or-flight instincts.
What I DO take credit for is the awareness that I had that I still needed a few more minutes to compose myself. That I actually sent the client away (for his own good as well as my own!)- so that I could get in a state of mind where I could do my job mindfully rather than continue to run in reaction mode.
So I chose to decide to respond rather than continue to react.
HOMEWORK: Comment about a time you chose to RESPOND rather than REACT.
Then... GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Fight the Urge to NOT Move
Q: How long do you think a 4-5 year old can sit still?
A: Trick question. Little kids shouldn't sit still... their bodies know better than that!
Picture a preschooler or kindergartner in a school classroom at a tiny desk with cute little chairs. A fat blue pencil or box of crayons and a coloring book. How long will the typical kid, when granted the freedom to choose on their own, sit at that desk and draw or write? Help me out parents- 4 minutes, 9 minutes, perhaps a LITTLE longer if they are really focused or totally into a new Hello Kitty or Transformers coloring book.
If they are at home, what do they do next? Stand up, bounce around the room a bit, maybe run back to the paper, write their name, add a flower to the picture of the 2-dimensional house and smiley faced sun, seek out a sibling to play with, start making up a game or continuing a scenario previously left unfinished. Then they see something shiny or interesting, move towards that- turn the pages, kick the ball against the wall- spontaneously twirl around in circles.
If they are actually at school- the hope is that the teacher recognizes the hard-wired need that kids have to simply move their bodies in space. The reality is often otherwise- especially as children progress into upper grades. Class periods become longer, time seated at desks increases, no more sitting on the carpet or moving around to centers in various parts of the room. Recess is cut back or eliminated completely- not even mentioning the absence of PE programs.
Fast forwarding through middle, high school, college and into the workplace: where are YOU sitting right now? When was the last time YOU stood up, twirled in a circle or otherwise moved your body through space? I am not suggesting specifically that you should do cartwheels amongst the cubicles, though I am entirely in favor of that... but I AM saying you probably have been seated in one single position longer than you anticipated... and definitely longer than your BODY probably wanted to be sitting!
Do you recognize the tightness in your hip flexors? Have you noticed the slumping of the shoulders and disappearance of the soft curve in your lower back giving way to a rounded hunch? Perhaps you are thirsty and decided over 20 minutes ago to get up for a drink and you are STILL sitting there answering email. Or maybe even have been putting off a bathroom break to squeak out just a little more work.
How crazy is that?
At this moment, my back is sweating through my shirt- up against a leather recliner in the corner spot of a coffeeshop. I want to go somewhere cooler, but I also want to finish this paragraph.
Mentally, we are ignoring the body telling us it wants to DO something. To be moved. It wants to be fed, hydrated, emptied, stretched, unwound, its position altered. A simple change of scenery or adjustment in space. We are fighting the instinctual need to move... and unfortunately, it is pretty easy to tune out the internal message and push forward, denying the movement the body craves and NEEDS. Thus setting up an insidious link between the brain and the body that says,"I will sit here and do what needs to be done, even if it kills me." And eventually for most Americans it does!
This is where I talk about Cardiovascular Disease, Obesity, Diabetes and other Diseases of Lifestyle Choice. I am done talking about that stuff now.
According to the Surgeon General's 1996 At-A-Glance fact sheet on Physical Activity and health... "People who are usually inactive can improve their health and well-being by becoming even moderately active on a regular basis."
No shit. Earth shattering. Of course it sounds overly simplistic (and I did take one single line out of context) but most people... scratch that... almost all of Americans- are "usually inactive". But what does that say about our society that simply getting out of a chair and walking around a little bit would amount to enough of an increase in physical activity that it would improve health and well-being?! Not to mention allowing some time to get up and get a drink, take a leak, stretch the legs and give the fingers a break from the key board or telephone.
Next time the brain interprets a signal sent from the hip flexors or between the shoulder blades that says "get up and move!" Pay attention to it. Overcome the automatic suppression of the mind over the physical needs of the body. And next time you overhear someone or even yourself say to a young kid, "Sit still!"- reflect on the fact that the child is simply responding naturally to what his body is telling him to do.
now... GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!
A: Trick question. Little kids shouldn't sit still... their bodies know better than that!
Picture a preschooler or kindergartner in a school classroom at a tiny desk with cute little chairs. A fat blue pencil or box of crayons and a coloring book. How long will the typical kid, when granted the freedom to choose on their own, sit at that desk and draw or write? Help me out parents- 4 minutes, 9 minutes, perhaps a LITTLE longer if they are really focused or totally into a new Hello Kitty or Transformers coloring book.
If they are at home, what do they do next? Stand up, bounce around the room a bit, maybe run back to the paper, write their name, add a flower to the picture of the 2-dimensional house and smiley faced sun, seek out a sibling to play with, start making up a game or continuing a scenario previously left unfinished. Then they see something shiny or interesting, move towards that- turn the pages, kick the ball against the wall- spontaneously twirl around in circles.
If they are actually at school- the hope is that the teacher recognizes the hard-wired need that kids have to simply move their bodies in space. The reality is often otherwise- especially as children progress into upper grades. Class periods become longer, time seated at desks increases, no more sitting on the carpet or moving around to centers in various parts of the room. Recess is cut back or eliminated completely- not even mentioning the absence of PE programs.
Fast forwarding through middle, high school, college and into the workplace: where are YOU sitting right now? When was the last time YOU stood up, twirled in a circle or otherwise moved your body through space? I am not suggesting specifically that you should do cartwheels amongst the cubicles, though I am entirely in favor of that... but I AM saying you probably have been seated in one single position longer than you anticipated... and definitely longer than your BODY probably wanted to be sitting!
Do you recognize the tightness in your hip flexors? Have you noticed the slumping of the shoulders and disappearance of the soft curve in your lower back giving way to a rounded hunch? Perhaps you are thirsty and decided over 20 minutes ago to get up for a drink and you are STILL sitting there answering email. Or maybe even have been putting off a bathroom break to squeak out just a little more work.
How crazy is that?
At this moment, my back is sweating through my shirt- up against a leather recliner in the corner spot of a coffeeshop. I want to go somewhere cooler, but I also want to finish this paragraph.
Mentally, we are ignoring the body telling us it wants to DO something. To be moved. It wants to be fed, hydrated, emptied, stretched, unwound, its position altered. A simple change of scenery or adjustment in space. We are fighting the instinctual need to move... and unfortunately, it is pretty easy to tune out the internal message and push forward, denying the movement the body craves and NEEDS. Thus setting up an insidious link between the brain and the body that says,"I will sit here and do what needs to be done, even if it kills me." And eventually for most Americans it does!
This is where I talk about Cardiovascular Disease, Obesity, Diabetes and other Diseases of Lifestyle Choice. I am done talking about that stuff now.
According to the Surgeon General's 1996 At-A-Glance fact sheet on Physical Activity and health... "People who are usually inactive can improve their health and well-being by becoming even moderately active on a regular basis."
No shit. Earth shattering. Of course it sounds overly simplistic (and I did take one single line out of context) but most people... scratch that... almost all of Americans- are "usually inactive". But what does that say about our society that simply getting out of a chair and walking around a little bit would amount to enough of an increase in physical activity that it would improve health and well-being?! Not to mention allowing some time to get up and get a drink, take a leak, stretch the legs and give the fingers a break from the key board or telephone.
Next time the brain interprets a signal sent from the hip flexors or between the shoulder blades that says "get up and move!" Pay attention to it. Overcome the automatic suppression of the mind over the physical needs of the body. And next time you overhear someone or even yourself say to a young kid, "Sit still!"- reflect on the fact that the child is simply responding naturally to what his body is telling him to do.
now... GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Go Outside and Play!
Going outside and playing (GOAPing) is easier than it appears. Or is it?
Open the door (turning off your computer or putting on clothes isn't even necessary, though the latter will be less insulting to those around you), take a step outside, and then DO something.
It might be helpful to simply do something impulsive... without thinking. This will get you in a more child-like mindset. Like AC Morgan IV once said, "in order to have fun, I need to do something illegal or act like a child." However, to most of us analytical types, a command to "do something impulsive" is usually followed by brain wave activity that, if projected over a loud speaker might sound something like this:
Open the door (turning off your computer or putting on clothes isn't even necessary, though the latter will be less insulting to those around you), take a step outside, and then DO something.
It might be helpful to simply do something impulsive... without thinking. This will get you in a more child-like mindset. Like AC Morgan IV once said, "in order to have fun, I need to do something illegal or act like a child." However, to most of us analytical types, a command to "do something impulsive" is usually followed by brain wave activity that, if projected over a loud speaker might sound something like this:
"ok, do something impulsive, that means don't think- just do. Very Yoda-esque.
I never really liked Star Wars but my friends' kids love it.
Ok, what would THEY do?
Probably, just start running around, or playing in the dirt.
Where can I find dirt?
Ok, there's some sand, should I run out the sand and then play in it?
No, there are people watching... they'd think I am strange.
Oh, that's right I am a little strange- I forgot, right- impulsive.
Do something, I'm confused.
I never really liked Star Wars but my friends' kids love it.
Ok, what would THEY do?
Probably, just start running around, or playing in the dirt.
Where can I find dirt?
Ok, there's some sand, should I run out the sand and then play in it?
No, there are people watching... they'd think I am strange.
Oh, that's right I am a little strange- I forgot, right- impulsive.
Do something, I'm confused.
You MIGHT think I am exaggerating, but I am sure you agree that it is reassuring to know our random- and perhaps slightly neurotic thoughts- aren't publicly broadcasted.
Maybe the "WHAT" to do isn't the variable preventing you from GOAPing. Personally, I have more of an issue with deciding WHAT to do considering the myriad options:
"I am going to the beach to fly my kite, but since I am at the beach I might want to surf, so I will take a board, but maybe the tide will be low so I can do a barefoot run, but since the haze hasn't burned off shouldn't I go for a hike while it is still cool...?"
Sometimes this inability to decide is paralyzing to the point that it is easier to simply do nothing at all!
Maybe you, like me, have lots of adventurous or stress-relieving or energy-providing activities to do outdoors and the problem is, unlike me, you don't have the TIME to GOAP.
That's too bad.
I say that not in a condescending tone of voice, but with some compassion and concern. Because regardless of the source of the barrier; whether it is the job, the kids, the computer or TV, an injury or ache, or depression or apathy, or the busy-ness of life, GOAPing is essential. It is essential to maintaining balance in the physical body, clearness in the mind, and inspiration in the soul. It provides real, first hand evidence that there is a wider, bigger world going on outside of the house, outside of the office cubicle, and certainly outside of the dark, yet convincing inner voice that tells us "there is so much to DO and not enough time to do it."
Take a deep breath. Think about a group of kids on a playground... moving naturally and without consciously planning out what they are going to do. Not worried about what they are going to do AFTER that, or after THAT. Not struggling with how much or how little they have accomplished today. Not so much concerned with whether or not the slide will be occupied when they want to slide down it or whether or not there will be a vacant swing open IF they suddenly get the desire to swing. They are simply engaged in moving themselves through space, content in the moment and intuitively handling situations as they arise. Do you remember what it felt like to move around like this? Try it sometime.
Scratch that, since I mentioned Yoda earlier: "Do or do not do, there is no try."
So with some degree of sympathy for all the reasons that come up as to why NOT to do so... yet with a little bit of hope, I gently urge you:
GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!
Maybe the "WHAT" to do isn't the variable preventing you from GOAPing. Personally, I have more of an issue with deciding WHAT to do considering the myriad options:
"I am going to the beach to fly my kite, but since I am at the beach I might want to surf, so I will take a board, but maybe the tide will be low so I can do a barefoot run, but since the haze hasn't burned off shouldn't I go for a hike while it is still cool...?"
Sometimes this inability to decide is paralyzing to the point that it is easier to simply do nothing at all!
Maybe you, like me, have lots of adventurous or stress-relieving or energy-providing activities to do outdoors and the problem is, unlike me, you don't have the TIME to GOAP.
That's too bad.
I say that not in a condescending tone of voice, but with some compassion and concern. Because regardless of the source of the barrier; whether it is the job, the kids, the computer or TV, an injury or ache, or depression or apathy, or the busy-ness of life, GOAPing is essential. It is essential to maintaining balance in the physical body, clearness in the mind, and inspiration in the soul. It provides real, first hand evidence that there is a wider, bigger world going on outside of the house, outside of the office cubicle, and certainly outside of the dark, yet convincing inner voice that tells us "there is so much to DO and not enough time to do it."
Take a deep breath. Think about a group of kids on a playground... moving naturally and without consciously planning out what they are going to do. Not worried about what they are going to do AFTER that, or after THAT. Not struggling with how much or how little they have accomplished today. Not so much concerned with whether or not the slide will be occupied when they want to slide down it or whether or not there will be a vacant swing open IF they suddenly get the desire to swing. They are simply engaged in moving themselves through space, content in the moment and intuitively handling situations as they arise. Do you remember what it felt like to move around like this? Try it sometime.
Scratch that, since I mentioned Yoda earlier: "Do or do not do, there is no try."
So with some degree of sympathy for all the reasons that come up as to why NOT to do so... yet with a little bit of hope, I gently urge you:
GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!
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